The truth of the matter is, that anxiety is getting worse at an alarming rate. And this article is for 3 kinds of people, The first is it’s for people who may have gotten treatment for anxiety but are looking to better understand the problem or improve what they can do about it. The second thing is that this is a post for people who have tried anxiety treatment but found that it didn’t work for them and we will dive into a little bit about why that could be. And the third thing is, this is an article for people who just want to understand anxiety, who may not need to engage in treatment, aren’t really interested in it, maybe it's not that severe and you just want to understand about how this stuff works within you.
Anxiety: An Overview
So let’s start by understanding what we know already and also what we have learnt recently. So the biggest problem I see today with anxiety is that we view it as a mental condition and there is kind of a good reason for it. So, if we look at our initial explorations of anxiety around the West, they were done by people like psychoanalysts. So people like Freud and Hung would talk to other people and understand anxiety as the process of the mind. And they are not wrong. So based on lots of the discoveries they made, and some of those, I will share with you today, really solved stuff. We have developed treatment protocols like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or psychodynamic therapy that actually, statistically improve people's experience of anxiety. So that’s great. It’s a kind of mental thing. The challenge though is that a lot of recent research that we have discovered shows that anxiety is not localised to the mind and this sort of makes sense if you stop and think about it. We as human beings are like whole organisms, right? And our brain exists within our body. And even the functions of our mind can be influenced by what’s going on in our brain and even influenced by what’s going on in our body. So, then one of the reasons that we are seeing that anxiety gets worse even though we are spending more money on research, even though we are training a bunch of therapists, even though we are investing a lot in brain science and all this kind of stuff, is why is like anxiety getting worse, is because the professionals that usually deal with anxiety are specialised in the mind, right? So if you look at a therapist or a psychologist, chances are they are not a medical doctor but someone who is focused entirely on the mind which is not necessarily a bad thing. And let's remember that we have effective methods but our education is lacking in some major areas that we have discovered now, contribute to anxiety, like the heart and the autonomic nervous system and even stuff like brain-gut stuff and the gut micro biome and we will be diving into that.
So this is why that even if we had a lot of people in our community who have gone to see therapists and this is what’s kind of frustrating right? If someone complains about anxiety on the internet, people say,” Go see a therapist.” And that is a great move. Don’t get me wrong. I am all for it. You should absolutely do it if you have never done it before. But also, that some people don’t, that doesn’t seem to help some people or doesn’t help them enough. And so that’s why we are going to be talking about sort of a start-to-finish perspective on anxiety.
So let’s start by understanding what anxiety is. So anxiety is essentially a heightened baseline of worry around projected threats. So generally our mind and our body has a whole system that is designed to respond to threats, ok? And this is where our adrenaline increase, our heart rate is going to increase, and there will be changes in our gut. So there are all kind of changes that our body and mind are going to make anytime we are faced with a stressor.
So the real challenge with anxiety is what is true stress, what is an actual stress, and what is perceived stress, is messed up. So where 99 people may think this is something you may not need to worry about, your brain is telling you,” Hey, this is a real threat.”
So the first thing to understand about anxiety is it it is a heightened awareness or heightened awareness on potential threats. So for a normal person, what they may experience is they aren’t worried about it because the possibility of happening it is pretty low so I don’t need to worry about stuff that like, may not happen, right? If you struggle with anxiety, you are gonna think that that’s like absolutely insane, you have to think about everything that may not happen because that’s how you avoid those negative situations and protect yourself. So that is something you resonate with, that's the crux of anxiety. There are real threats that our body responds to, our brain responds to, mind responds to and there are these perceived threats the problem is that these people with anxiety move the perceived threat into the real threat column so everything feels like a real danger and our brain, our body and our mind respond accordingly and they tell us to freak out.
Emotional Perspective on Anxiety
So let’s understand how that calibration gets messed up. So most people with anxiety have some kind of negative experience in childhood that teaches them to be worried. So anxiety is a problem in adulthood or maybe in adolescence but at its core, it is a survival strategy or an adaptation. So let’s put ourselves in the shoes of a 5 yr old or a 6 yr old, right? So there’s a 5-year-old or a 6-year-old that has an alcoholic parent. So how does the 5-year-old survive this situation? They have to think about their parents a lot, right? So what are your tools as a 5-year-old? Can you create physical space? Are you financially independent? Can you adjust your diet? Can you create sort of like boundaries around how to manage your emotions? Can you use a meditation app to manage your emotions? Can you effectively communicate using words like fury of mind and empathy to calm people down? Of course not, you can’t do any of that. All you can do, is think, “How can I survive?” So when your parents come home and they are drunk, what are all of the things that you can think through, all the possibilities of how you are gonna deal with, if they are feeling like this if they are feeling like that? I need to clean up my room before they come home so they don’t get pissed off, right? So you start to think and engage in behaviours to try to adapt to the circumstance. And so what you learn as a 5 yr old and remember, this is a part of the time when our brain is learning the fundamentals of how the world works. So we are learning things like, how does gravity work? How strong is gravity? How are relationships formed? How do I deal with challenges? And what anxious kids discovered is that the way that I deal with challenges is I think about it a lot. and I will think about it so I can figure out how to best adapt to it because fundamentally, I cannot change the outward problem. I just have to think my way to success. This is the crux of how anxiety is born. These kids then carry that into adulthood. So how do I approach problems? Do I approach problems through communication? Do I approach problems through boundary setting? No, if I have a problem, I am going to think through it until I figure out what is the best way to solve it because that's the only thing that works. And remember that, these 5 yr olds, these works for them, right? This is why its so hard to kick. Because when you are 5, you have no power but what goes on in your head, the only option you have got is to think through a thousand scenarios and think how you are gonna handle each one. And when your mom or dad comes home, that's when you activate some plan but fundamentally, you are not in control so you have to plan for contingencies and this is what happens in the mind of someone who is anxious.
So now let’s bring that person to adulthood. What’s the strategy that your brain learnt? When you were learning how to walk and when you were learning how to talk, what else did you learn? You learnt that if there is a problem out there, fundamentally I can’t fix the problem, so what I have to do is deal with it, right? And the more that I think about it, the more effective my strategies will be. And this is where people who are anxious, oftentimes, invest a ton of energy for even a tiny amount of control for a tiny amount of improvement. It’s fundamentally not a good trait but it’s the only trait that their brain learnt how to make. So now you are thinking about all these scenarios and you even recognise there’s an anxious person who’s thinking about this doesn’t help and yet you do it anyway, why is that? It’s because that's what your brain learned to do. When your brain developed this strategy, when it leaned how to play the game, it had the powered abilities of a 5 yr old. And so that is the only strategy it knows how to do. And this is what is so damn confusing about anxiety, not only for the person who is experiencing anxiety but also for the people around you. They are like, “Why don’t you just….? Why don’t you just talk to your boss? Why don’t you just email your professor and ask him for an extension?” Its so confusing, right? And you may be beating yourself up because all you are doing is thinking about it instead of actually doing anything about it. And you are incredibly frustrated by yourself. Others are frustrated with you and they make it seem so easy and you feel terrible about yourself because you are like, “Why can’t I do this?” Its a really good question. It’s because your brain learns that doing stuff doesn’t work. Your brain learnt one survival mechanism which is, to think it through and adapt to whatever crap comes your way. And this also can become a self-fulfilling prophecy because you do less about it, right? If you don’t email your professor, and you don’t have a conversation with your boss, problems will arise. And as problems arise, your worst fears become true but now since you have been anxiously thinking about it, you are kind of ok doing damage control and what is the conclusion that your mind comes to? Your mind is like, “Thank god, we spent all of that time thinking through every single permutation and combination because when our professor did email us and say, Hey where is your paper? What’s wrong? Why haven’t I received it yet? You had everything planned.” And planning leads to survival. So this is the way the anxious brain works. It reaches a new level of homeostasis which is that it starts to see greater threats and tries to approach problems purely mentally. And this is the kind of experience of people with anxiety which is why you can sit in bed and do nothing to solve your problems and anxiously be thinking about it, over and over again. So that's things from a mental perspective and we will get into a little more about how to deal with that and therapists can absolutely help with that, ok?
But there are couple of other things that I think we need to explore.
Clinical Perspective on Anxiety
The first is that our cardiovascular and autonomic nervous system. So this is the system that governs things like our adrenaline, our relaxation, and danger signals. This system is very active when it comes to anxiety. And so the big part of what medical doctors do is that they try to medicate anxiety. Generally, most of their medications have been neurologic, they affect the brain and we are starting to see a lot of very interesting research around non-anxiety medications for anxiety., things that affect your heart rate, and things that affect your immune system can also be beneficial to people with anxiety.
So let’s understand how this works. This is really cool. Our heart adapts to changes, ok? So if you are walking down the street and you get jumped by a pack of wolves, your heart rate will increase. Our body responds to that change. It alters the way that it reacts to a particular environment, our heart rate goes up, ok? When we are in a relaxed situation, our heart rate goes down, our body can adapt to particular stressors. In people who are anxious, that adaptation ability is weakened. So we sort of see is that things are always on, kind of high alert. So we see less variation in the body’s ability to adapt to a stressor because we are already operating at high levels of stress at baseline. And why are we operating at high levels of stress at baseline? That’s because we learnt as a 5-year-old that the world is a dangerous place and we can’t count on other people, we have to be on high alert all the time. Hypervigilance is a survival strategy that gets baked into our neurons and not just into neurons of our brain but neurons all over the body. Our body’s ability to adjust its heart rate in response to stress is blunted in people with anxiety. So we also see these things ion cases like PTSD. So if you look at the heart’s ability to modulate its activity, after you get diagnosed with PTSD, your ability to modulate activity goes down, and you are always on high alert. There are other really interesting things that people have been able to discover. Some researchers have also been able to predict which emotion you are feeling by looking at your heart rhythm. They can predict with 75% accuracy, the way your heartbeat determines your emotions. They figured this out, ok? 75% accuracy. We are not 100% all the way there, yet but we are pretty good at that. So this is where we start to see whole other realm of consideration about anxiety which is that when you are physiologically active, its going to change the way that you think because remember our body and brain are moving in concert. It’s not like the mind is like moving completely disconnected from the heart like those things work together. So we know for example, that adrenaline causes perceived threats to become and feel more real. It causes focussing of the mind on the particular threat. So what do we see in anxiety clinically? We see distractibility. It’s not distractibility, you are not distracted. You can’t focus on what you want to focus on because your mind is hellbent on focusing on anxiety. It forces you to focus on the threat and this is physiologically mediated. So if we can control our heart rate and if we can control our autonomic nervous system, we will reduce our anxiety.
The Anxiety-Gut Relationship
The third angle that a lot of people are not really familiar with especially when it comes to therapists is, that it is not an indictment, therapists are not generally trained in that, which is gut health, which is a novel perspective. So this is super wild but the bacteria in our gut heavily influence our anxiety level. So there are a lot of mechanisms at play here. The first is that people with irritable bowel syndrome also have some degree of depression and anxiety. We also see cases like inflammatory bowel disease which is when you get an auto-immune inflammation of your intestines. When people have auto-immune inflammation of their intestines, they also experience worsening depression and anxiety. So we have also discovered that depression and anxiety are at a certain level, inflammatory conditions. Since they are inflammatory conditions, this is wild. If I take a patient with IBD (inflammatory bowel disease) and i give them an immune modulatory agent, I kind of shut off or suppress their immune system, their anxiety improves. You see, clinically significant, scientifically valid results of anxiety reduction when I modulate someone’s immune system. What is going on here? Let's understand, ok?
We have our gut bacteria, ok? In our intestines, we have bacteria that lives there and hangs out there. By the way, you have 10 times more bacterial cells in your body as you have human cells, ok? That’s wild. So, the no of cells in your body is like 9:1 bacteria to human cells. You have got a ton of bacteria in there. And now let’s understand what is bacteria doing. So we have a symbiotic relationship with those bacteria. So over a million years, we have grown up as human beings and we have all these bacteria that live in our gut and gut bacteria does stuff for us. So bacteria will do things like break down food, that's why it lives in our gut. They will do things like consume particular nutrient and they will slo produce particular nutrients because we will have a nice relationship with our bacteria, right? They are gonna live in our gut and gonna form nutrients for us and we are going to provide them with some degree of protection. There are some bacteria which is healthy bacteria, which do not activate our immune system because our immune system has learnt, “Hey, these are our allies. We should not mess with them. They are helping us.” So now what has changed in our society for the last 100 years? Diet. Diet has transformed completely. You didn’t get any kind of frozen, processed food, we ate what was fresh, we ate what was around, and we had very limited kind of food. So then what happens, when we are eating different kind of food, what happens to our gut bacteria? So as we make dietary changes like we ate a piece of broccoli. So broccoli can be broken down and consumed by certain kinds of bacteria. And those are the bacteria that help us out. So they break down the brocolli because human beings have been eating broccoli for a while, right? We have been eating like green leafy stuff and foraging and whatnot, potatoes and things like that, a little bit of meat, whatever. And so we will grow the bacteria depending on what we feed them. So now, as we eat more processed foods, we are selecting the bacteria that can eat processed foods. And so, have those bacteria lived in our guts for a million years? no, these are new bacteria, they are foreign bacteria. And so as we develop these foreign bacteria in our gut, they cause inflammation. Because our body is like, “Hey we have not seen these bacteria before, this guy doesn’t belong here, let's attack it.” So what we see is an increase in the inflammation in our gut. That inflammation travels all the way to our brain, right? Because when we have an infection. If I have like a cold, let's say, and even if the cold is localised to my nose, I feel the inflammation all over my body. The fever or flu will be all over my body. So our body will respond in a complete way, in a total way, in a holistic way even if the inflammation is in the gut. There’s also evidence that certain kinds of bacteria are linked to Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease as well as anxiety and we will get to that in a second. So gut bacteria gets really important. The next thing to understand. Gut bacteria will produce things and consume things that we put into our body. So what does this mean?
So psychiatrists prescribe serotoninergic medications to help people with anxiety. They will increase serotonin signals in the brain with medication. So what about gut bacteria? This is really fascinating. So there are some kinds of gut bacteria that will gobble up the serotonin precursors. So there are certain neurotransmitters, there are certain building blocks that travel from our gut to our brain and then we turn those building blocks into things like neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin etc. There are some bacteria that will gobble those up. So if they are gobbling it up, there are not enough building blocks going to the brain to build up serotonin or whatever. There are other bacteria that not only don’t gobble it up but will produce excess and share it with us. This is a trading situation where we give You food and a safe place to stay and you are gonna produce neurotransmitter precursors for us, building blocks, you are going to send them to the brain and we are gonna turn them into neurotransmitters. So what is the gut bacteria doing for us?
3 things. 1. The good bacteria produce neurotransmitters for us, basically and it’s not causing inflammation and the ones that are bad for us, consume the building blocks that we need and furthermore are causing inflammation. And remember what is inflammation does to your heart? It’s gonna elevate your heart rate. As inflammation elevates your heart rate, that is going to send signals to your brain to make you more anxious. Wild Right? And this is the shortcoming is that the clinicians don’t understand this stuff in clinical practice, they haven’t implemented it yet. So just to give you an example. There is one bacteria that I, kid you not is called Ruminococcus, I have no idea where that name came from, but I looked for it, it is really called Ruminococcus, rumination and when the ruminococcus levels are low in the gut bacteria, anxiety is high. The severity of anxiety increases. If you have low ruminococcus levels, chances are, you will have anxiety, wild. There are 4, or 5 other bacteria that are very focused on anxiety or are related to it.
Yogic Perspective on Anxiety
The second last thing we are going to talk about is the mind. So when it comes to the mind there is a lot that you can do here. This is where seeing a therapist is a really good idea but let’s understand what approaching therapy really means. Especially for those of you who think, “My anxiety isn’t that bad that I need to see a therapist but I still want to get control of it.” This is important to understand. So the first thing you have got to do is understand the wiring of your brain in terms of what is a threat. So go back and this is why a lot of therapy focuses on childhood. What are the lessons that you learnt in childhood? So in the Vedic model, this is the model that I use for trying to promote wellness, we will focus on the formation of something called Samskaras. So, a samskara is like a ball of emotional energy that shapes the way you perceive the world, ok? So when we have a samskara, it triggers this activity in our brain that causes us to perceive things as threats but all this is based on this ball of emotional energy. So if you go back in your childhood and you pay attention to your experiences in childhood, you will find that even thinking about certain memories will cause tears to come up, will evoke fear and will evoke panic. That means that emotion is sitting there in your brain, in your mind and is shaping the way you see the world. So you have to go back and ask yourself, “Ok, I am worried that people will abandon me, let's say.” Where did you learn to be afraid that people will abandon you? Chances are because you had some kind of traumatic experience in childhood where someone abandoned you and so then your brain learnt, “Hey we can’t trust people” and so you carry that learning with you forward to the present day. The problem is that it helped you survive back then, now it makes your life harder today. So you have to go back and digest that emotional energy.
The second thing that you can do is understand the effect of anxiety in the present. And now we have to understand something really important about anxiety. When someone is faced with anxiety, as we experience more anxiety, what people with anxiety do is this anxiety is caused by the situation, right? But what do you do as someone who is anxious? You try to control the situation because if you can control the situation, your anxiety will come down anyway. “I am afraid that someone is going to break with me”
“They could break up with me” is a real situation. My anxiety is high. How do I fix this? I am going to get them to promise never to break up with me. I am going to engage in behaviours to control the situation because if I can control the situation, then the anxiety will come down with it. You see, these two things are tied and so what do people with anxiety do? They try to control the world around them. Controlling the world around you is difficult, arguably impossible. And if you can’t control your partner or your boss or your professor or your friends or your parents, what do you do? You keep trying in your head, over and over and over again and why do you never solve your problems? You never solve the problems because it’s someone else, you cannot control another human being. Then why don’t you quit? Why do you keep trying to solve the problems? Because that is the survival mechanism you learnt Right? That is anxiety in a nutshell.
What can I do?
So we try to control the circumstances around us, and we try to control other people to bring our anxiety down, that’s a losing formula but that's what we do. So what else can you do? There are two or three things to understand here.
No 1. Is that we can disconnect the link between a safe situation to low anxiety and a dangerous situation to high anxiety. We can control this disconnect. We can learn how to tolerate anxiety because this is something people with anxiety don’t learn how to do, right? What they learn is this survival mechanism is because as a 5-year-old, you can’t teach yourself how to tolerate anxiety, you just have to deal with it. So what you can practically do is learn how to tolerate some of this anxiety. So here, if you look at evidence-based treatments for phobias, for example, what a therapist will do is Exposure therapy. They are gonna put you in a situation that activates your anxiety but we are not gonna let you control the situation. You are gonna wait until your body returns to homeostasis which it will do. Why doesn’t that happen to people with anxiety? Because we spend so much time controlling the situation, and escaping from the situation, we never develop the ability for tolerance, right? If a social situation makes me anxious and I decide to avoid it, what happens to my ability to tolerate negative emotions? It goes down because I am controlling the situation and since the situation is controlled, my anxiety is controlled. I never learnt tolerance. So this is where I would say, Sit With It. Understand what you are sitting with. It’s hard to just sit with it but understand, this is what you should tell yourself,” In this moment, my mind is terrified of this. This feels a 100% real.” Notice your physical sensations “This is my body trying to protect me from this and this is how my body learnt to survive here” and tolerate it as long as you can, right? Start low, “Ok, I am gonna go into this social situation for 5 min and I am not gonna pull up my phone for 5 min” and afterwards you can escape in your phone, go for it. So start to learn how to tolerate that negative emotion. As you learn to tolerate the negative emotion, the negative emotion will start to come down. As the negative emotion starts to come down, you will able to engage with things around you, ok?
The last thing to consider, kind of related to this is, to watch out for the tie between your anxiety and your behaviour. So when we are anxious, especially when we have an unhealthy relationship with anxiety, we will use behaviour to control our anxiety, right? So I will plead with someone not to break up with me or I will start crying or we will avoid things. So watch out for that instinctive behaviour to make you feel safe and try not to engage in it right away. This is also an essential principle of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). So if you need help with that. Work with a therapist. The last thing, this is off the wall, but, this has honestly helped a lot of people that I have worked with, is to detach. So if you really look at anxiety. Anxiety usually has to do with the ego. What do I mean by that? I am opening a whole can of worms which we can discuss in future, but, if you think of anxiety, the consequence always has to do with you. “This person won't like me. This person will think I am stupid/ This person won't respect me. This person won't give me opportunities. This person will break up with me.” It has to do with ego, It has to do with ‘I’ in some way. And so there is another process which is its own thing of detachment where you separate yourself from the ego. And so what if someone doesn’t like you? Imagine what your life would be like if you were not always trying to shape and control other people's perceptions of you because that is what a lot of anxiety turns into, this is how people become doormats. “I can’t afford to have this person dislike me” and since I can’t afford to have this person dislike me, I can never set a boundary with them. Since I can never set a boundary with them, I become a doormat and they start to become abusive because I don’t check their behaviour. After all, there’s a consequence for their behaviour and then the anxious person gets stuck. They become frustrated with themselves, they become frustrated with the other person but they don’t know what to do about it.
And so the real antidote to all this stuff at the end of the day, is detachment, is to separate yourself a little bit from the ego. “Ok, so this person dislikes me, so what?” Right? So this is what people may tell you, “Why do you care what this person thinks?” And you are like “I don’t know. I wish I couldn’t but I do” and then how do you solve that? How do you develop that detachment? You go back, detachment. “When did I learn that I cannot afford to piss anyone off?” That’s the samskara, that's controlling you, that's preventing the detachment. Once again there are practices that you can do like meditative practices, spiritual practices, things like that, that can help you develop detachment. We have a whole path on that. But for you to understand that there are also studies that show that spiritual perspectives to anxiety can be incredibly helpful. One of the mechanisms through which things like mindfulness and even some studies on psychedelics show that the mechanism, of action here is that they separate you from the ego. And so that's another aspect to consider.
Wrapping it up
So if you are trying to deal with anxiety, I know it’s a super challenging and overwhelming topic but my hope is that if you understand how anxiety develops and what the mechanisms are in the body and the brain and the mind, then you can develop a system to tackle it. If you are already working with a mental health professional, my hope is that you can integrate some of this stuff into your existing treatment. If you are not working with a mental health professional, I strongly recommend, that you get an evaluation and then you can also, you don’t need to, then also you can use some of these techniques to promote health, right? And this is another core problem with the system of medicine in the West that they treat sickness, they do not build health. And so how does anxiety work in the body and the brain? First of all, it is a learned experience. It is a change in your baseline, to perceive normal things as highly threatening. Why did you learn that? How did you get wired like that? Because that's what you needed to survive. So how can we fix this problem? First, we can change our diet. We can eat certain foods, a healthy diet, things that are more traditionally eaten by human beings like, some of the probiotics and foods that are not processed. But the more inflammation in your gut there is, the less healthy your gut bacteria is, the more likely you are to be anxious. The second organ system that we will talk about is the heart. The heart is incredibly important. It’s not just the heart by the way, it's just the one thing that we use to measure and capture all the other parts of our body. So if we look at the exercise benefits on anxiety, we are just focusing on the heart but exercise has also benefits on the kidneys which are gonna affect your anxiety, has goons benefits on your liver, and skeletal muscle, all of these things will affect your anxiety and this is the core shortcoming that we see with therapy today is that therapists are solely trained in the mind but anxiety doesn’t solely exist in the mind. So you can do everything from the heart chakra meditations to exercise. You have got to slow down that physiology. And the last thing we are going to focus on is the mind. And thats where you have to understand how i programme this in the first place. Go back to that, and digest that emotion because that will be driving your anxiety. You will feel that emotion coming up and it will be an emotion from the past. And so as you digest and process that emotion, your anxiety will weaken in the present. The next thing that you can do is manage your anxiety in the present by building the capacity for tolerance and not engaging in those default behaviours that control the situation because the more you control the situation the more you are artificially shortcircuiting your anxiety. And then if that's the way you have done things which is usually how you do things, then you end up with this disastrous scenario where the way that I deal with my anxiety is controlling the situation. But if the way that I deal with anxiety is by controlling the situation and I can’t control the situation, then what happens? Then you get tortured with anxiety over and over and over again, you are thinking about something your whole week and you can’t fix it, you can’t fix it but you keep trying, you keep trying and you are exhausted. As you get exhausted, your frontal lobes weaken, your willpower weakens, you eat unhealthy food, and you stop exercising. And then the dominos starts to fall and the anxiety gets out of control.
So I sincerely hope that this has been helpful to you today. For you to understand where does anxiety come from? How does it manifest? What are the different levers that I can pull because it is far beyond the mind? And if all that stuff isn’t enough, do the spiritual stuff, check out detachments by all means. And the more you can cultivate that, the more it will make everything else easy.
So good luck
See you in the next post
Your Pal
Paul
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