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  • Writer's pictureSubham Kumar Paul

Love Or Attachment

Have you ever thought why my partner doesn't love me the way I want them to or does he/she even love me? If you ever thought about this in your relationship, this article may provide you with an insight.

Attachment styles are the patterns of behaviors and emotions that individuals develop in their close relationships, particularly with their primary caregivers during childhood. These styles can have a significant impact on our relationships throughout our lives, shaping how we approach intimacy and forming bonds with others.

The concept of attachment styles was first introduced by psychologist John Bowlby, who believed that attachment behaviors were innate and evolved to ensure the survival of infants. The four main attachment styles are secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant.

Secure Attachment Style: People with a secure attachment style tend to feel comfortable with intimacy and are not afraid to rely on others. They are confident in their ability to form and maintain close relationships, and they can trust their partners to be there for them when they need them. They tend to have positive views of themselves and their partners, and they are generally happy and satisfied with their relationships.

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style: Individuals with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style tend to be clingy and needy in their relationships. They fear rejection and abandonment and can become overly dependent on their partners. They often have low self-esteem and negative views of themselves, but they have a high opinion of their partners. They are constantly seeking reassurance and validation, and they may be prone to jealousy and possessiveness.

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Style: People with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style tend to be emotionally distant and independent. They have a high opinion of themselves but a low opinion of their partners. They tend to avoid intimacy and close relationships, preferring to focus on their own interests and activities. They may see themselves as self-sufficient and may view their partners as being overly needy or demanding.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style: Individuals with a fearful-avoidant attachment style tend to have conflicting feelings about intimacy and relationships. They may want to be close to others but fear getting hurt or rejected. They may have had negative experiences in past relationships, which have left them wary of forming new attachments. They may oscillate between wanting to get closer to their partners and pushing them away, creating a sense of emotional turmoil in their relationships.

It is important to note that attachment styles are not fixed and can change over time, particularly as we form new relationships and have different experiences. It is also possible for individuals to have a mixture of attachment styles, with one style being dominant in certain situations and another style being dominant in other situations.

Understanding our attachment style can help us to recognize our patterns of behavior in relationships and work to change any negative or maladaptive behaviors. It can also help us to understand and empathize with our partners' attachment styles and work together to build stronger and healthier relationships. Ultimately, developing a secure attachment style can lead to greater emotional well-being and more fulfilling relationships throughout our lives.

We will focus more on attachment styles on our upcoming posts and also discuss about signs and symptoms which may help you gauge about the attachment styles that people may have or more significantly, you may carry and how can we move towards a secure attachment style if we don't have one.

Love and Joy

Subham :)

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